Social Penetration Theory

By Irwin Altman and Dalmas Taylor
How well do you know me?

I have a best friend. He knew who I was, I am now and who I want to be someday. And I knew certain thing about him too. I know his kind, innocent and childish ways as well as I know his nasty, dark side. We walked in each other’s shoes and saw each other rise and fall. We understood each other even before we can say a word and yet still understand each other even if there’s too much to listen to. I graduated, because I was a year ahead than him, left the school where he is still in now but still we knew each other just like a clear glass with transparent insides.

Altman and Taylor explain why we have a deep intimacy in our friendship through their Social Penetration Theory (SPT). According to them, “Gradual and orderly fashion from superficial to intimate levels of exchange as function of outcomes”.
They explain this by using an onion as their model.

You see, an onion has its multi layer and that as one tries to peel those layers of onion he or she actually goes deeper and deeper into its main core. The same is with humans. We are onions too. Don’t you think? For example, my outmost layer in my onion persona is the biographical data or basic information that can be easily seen or disclosed. As interaction further pushes, the layers are actually peeled one by one and it takes time for disclosure to happen as some things are too private to be disclosed to someone who you do not know that well. Until such time that the innermost layer is reached and that the onion is now totally penetrated to its core.

The disclosure does not happen in a flick of an eye such that it needs “gradual and orderly fashion” also, some considerations are foreseen such as the values that can be derived from the disclosure since a person seeks out and it is more likely that there should be a reward. To put it easily, every person who undergoes social penetration has in his or her mind (whether unconsciously or not) the question: WHAT WILL I GET FROM THIS PERSON IF I DISCLOSE INFORMATIONS?

The minimax principle is also applied in this theory where people seek out to maximize their benefits and minimize their cost. After the penetration, however, me becomes we.

It took us only 15 minutes to know each other (me and my best friend) but it took us more than a year to really know each other as to the level of how well do we know each other now.

Of friendster, me and l♥ve.

Social Information Processing Theory By: Joseph Walter

It was October. Right? I was surfing the net (friendster for that matter), viewed some profiles, dropped a few comments and as I always do, changed my shout out. Little did I know that I would become one of Joseph Walter’s models for SIPT. I dropped a comment on the page of this one girl I saw. At that moment, there were no strings attached. No intentions whatsoever.

She commented back on me and found out that we shared a lot of things in common, knew same people but did not remember on meeting each other ever in our own lives. Strange, it was because I was really preoccupied with my studies at that time but still I managed to check on my friendster account just to see if someone (she) replied to one of my comments.

Until it came to a time when she asked my phone number. We texted a lot, told each other about even the most nonsense things that happened to us over the day. And as time passed, our relationship grew deeper and deeper. We shared our sentiment through the phone called each other just to say hi and went back to the real world again.

In this scenario SIPT is present where Computer Mediated Communication is found to be an effective avenue for relationship development. While it is true that CMC takes longer time to cultivate relationship (1:4 ratio), equally true is the premise of SIPT that relationship formed in CMC may equal the relationship of face-to-face communication.

Even the time when we reply to each other’s messages is an important factor in CMC because the parties involved may reply to each other in their most comfortable time that they can afford. The absence of Non-verbal cues is also vital as it enables the communicator to respond on each other on the basis of words only. People behind those profiles and numbers may also edit out and think of the message they ought to bring out since NVCs are absent.

And so, it came to the point when she actually asked me on the phone whether I had a crush on her. I said no. I was lying of course- another possibility in CMC. Time passes by and seasons change. Days went a little warmer and days were longer so it was finally the time when we’d meet inevitably. It was February I guess. I rode a motorcycle and was still in my high school uniform; it rained and the cold gale brushed through my face. When I got off the motorcycle, she was the first one that I saw. Everything was different. If on the CMC, we talked and talked to each other as if we were on a box together, on the real time communication; I experienced difficulty in speaking directly to her. I blushed and smiled but could not talk that much.

More than a year has already passed by since that first comment on friendster and I am officially missing it (her). At CMC, we felt so close even if we were worlds apart. Ironically, when face-to-face communication came in, it felt like I was a galaxy away from her even if she was just standing in front of me. This is a crazy world.

I really hope that we’d be back the same way we were- the same way when it was still that October.


I miss you Maxine.

[un]expected turns

[un]expected turns.

Expectancy Violations Theory by Judee Burgoon

It was a sunny day. The clouds were up high and birds were singing their merry song. A gentle gale was felt at that time but still was warm, though. It looks like we have got another typical day-Or not.

Suddenly, a well-dressed man steps up at the middle of the road and signals to ride the same bus as you are in. Prim and proper did he look and as blank as a dead pan was his face which showed not a single drop of emotion at that time. He sits down. The ride continues. After a minute or so, he stands up and sings Mariah Carrey’s I Will Always love you at the top his lungs.

Quite unexpected, right?

Judee Burgon, a communication scholar tells us about EVT- the theory that’s quite unexpected. Expectancy Violations Theory (EVT) has its simple principle: Expectations are always present and are imposed on people on whether how they should look, act and respond to different stimuli. When the expectations are violated a reward (feedback/response to the violation) is present. Whether positive or negative, there would always be a reward for the violator.

To further understand this theory, let us take a look at its core concepts:

Expectancy. Refers to what is predicted to occur than what is desired. A bus passenger is expected to behave in the bus that he/she is riding with respect to the social norms, relationship and other factors which affects the expectations at hand.

Violation Valence. Simply stated in Em Griffin’s perspective, this violation valence is the positive or negative value that we impose on the violations done regardless of who does it. Singing on a bus at the top of one’s lungs may be a violation but it could also bear positive valence if he had a nice performance or negative if it is the other way around. This valence then leads us to the third core concept;

Communicator Valence Reward. “what can you do for me?” is the primary question for this concept. The reward valence is sum of the positive and negative attributes that a person brings plus the potential that he/she has in the future. In the example, the violator may be kicked out of the bus as a negative reward because the people did not like his song; or may have a positive reward if the passengers liked the performance and instead was treated by paying his fare for him.

The society may impose the ideal paradigms yet still, violating these expectancies may be, at the end be conventional at all.

So, the next time someone sings at a bus ride, why not sing with him.

Boy, she is sweet

Social Information Processing Theory

1 message received.

2 messages received.

3 messages received.

….

..

.

1 missed call.

Hi… Pwidi txtm8?

Words of anticipation from an expecting someone from the other end the line as that person behind those series of numbers tries to make a surprising connection.

Hu u?

Well, I had my share of the ordeal too, and went a little something like this:

Fred: hi.

Toffie: hi.

F: uhm, pasenxa na ha? Pwede buh mkipgtxtm8? Bord kc aq eh. 

T: ok lng. Ikaw ung clasm8 ni nica?

F: yep ako nga. Ikaw ung friend nya?

T: opo haha. Classmates kc ksmi since 2^nd yr. high school.

F: ah. Wat nga name mo? Aq nga pla c fred. 

T: Toffie po

F: sweet 

T: ganun? Haha

F: San ka pala nagskul?

T: SPC. Taga san kan pala?

F: Davao lng din eh. San ka nga pala nag’haiskul?

…

Oh my! It seems that she has lost interest in me. Nooo! Please! I don’t want to start up all over again.

T: NDMU. senxa na, l8 repz, nkatulog kasi ako sa byahe galling gensan. Nkapunta ka na dun?

F: ah, dumadaan lng kmi dun sa mga malalayo na relatives pag pumupunta kming lake sebu.

T: Lake sebu?

F: ahuh. Me farm kasi kmi dun ng tilapia eh.

T: really? Penge tilapia, hahaha. Madalas ka dun? Di pa kc aq nkapunta dun.

F: lately, hndi na. kasi busy na eh. Budlay2 gid bala magmakadto pa mi damu ko sang dapat ubrahon sa amon.

T: haha. Kabalo ka gale magillonggo. Budlay ah naghalin pa mi sa Davao kag nag lagaw sa Gen san.

F: ah, hehe. Nga pala, an0ng course mo sa spc?

T: Nursing. Ano nga course nto ni cani?

F: kmusta ang bsn ? ah kmi, BS Molecular Biology man. Hahahaha di ah, BA Communication Arts

T: aus lng ang nursing, stress, pagod. Pero enjoy man ah. Hahaha sunggo man ung una ui.

F: nga pala, close kau ni cacai?

T: close man. Ksama ko sa SSG, ksabay mag’lunch, mga ganun gud.

F: ah lingaw ang mg’ssg no?

T: ikaw din?

F: opo. Haha

T: lingaw. Apir!

F: cguro honor student ka nung high skul no?

T: yep. Ikaw din ba?

F: opo. Haha. Cguro din, valedictorian ka?

T: haha hndi ah. Ikaw?

F: lalong hndi. 2^nd honorable lng.

T: lng? Mataas na din un ha.

F: ey, ano nga pala pwede itawag sau? Toffee, toff, ffie, your sweetness?

T: toff na lng para one syllable.

F: hmmmn, bkit kaya toffee? Cguro sweet kang tao ano?

T: ewan ko ba. Cguro. Anlayo nga sa Kristianne Angela eh.

F: ah. Lingawa ng name mo ui. Toffee. Sweet. Hahah

T: bkit? Fred ka lang tlaga?

F: Frederick po.

T: Lingaw man din ang Frederick

F: kmusta life nain jan ngaun?

T: ok lng naman.

F: eh lovlyf?

T: NBSB po ako.

F: talaga? Bkit?

T: mas happy kasi ung single., ikaw, d ka pa nagkagf?

F: ah, wala akong gf ngaun eh,, mahina kasi ako sa mga ganyang bagay. Mahiyain kc aq eh, sbi nila, torpe daw.

T: ok nman ung ganun ah.

F: talaga? Haha bakit mo nasabi.

T: para sa akin, turn off kasi ang maangas.

F: ui, baka nakakadisturb na ako sau. Ano nga pl gnagawa mo now?

T: ah. Nagttxt at ngsusurf sa net. Me friendster ka?

F: meron. emailni.fred@yahoo.com

T: cge, I’add kta.

F: ui, cge, mamya n lng ako mgttxt ksi nga nagnenet ka pa.

T: na add na kta. Cge slamat sa concern. Tyl.

F: gudnyt. Tyl.

And that was basically it. Well, the texting frenzy went on for days. I found her interesting based solely on the information and verbal cues that she disclosed on me that night. CMC or Computer Mediated Communication aided us to become friends and I am happy to have another one. Verbal Cues are actually selected in this type of communication. Thus, one may think of and edit those words to avoid the other party from being offended. This, compared to face to face communication is more plausible as the latter simultaneous.

Because of the extended time, we were able to reply to each other at our most convenient time. Also, we were able to know each other in same quality as to face to face communication, though only in a longer time.

I enjoyed the experience. I had a new friend and boy, she is sweet.

So you mean…

Symbolic Interactionism of George Herbert Mead

Have you ever had one of those nasty times when misunderstanding crosses your way? Sometimes, this happens because the meanings implied just aren’t the meanings taken.

While teaching at University of California, Berkley certain principles on of a theory was formed in his lectures. Later, after his death, a student named Herbert Blumer gathered his notes and coined the term Symbolic Interactionism.

Symbolic Interactionism Theory talks about how communication, in the form of talking for example, is the humanizing activity available. To further understand this, there are five premises that govern this theory.

Meaning. According to SIT, humans act toward people or things on the basis of meanings they assign to these people or things. A man may sit on a table if he intends to according to the meaning that he assigns to a table- that is, an object that he may sit on.

Language. Language on the other hand is viewed as the source of meanings. Therefore, meanings are not inherent on objects but rather are through communication.

Thought. The symbols used and expressed by one person are then passed on to another. Minding then, is how the target processes the symbol given according to the meaning that he/she imposes on them.

The Self. Introspection is another premise. SIT explains that the I the Me form the Self and is socially constructed. The Self therefore is a function of a language.

The SIT is an important theory in communication as it creates reality, gives a meaning-ful research, and more useful applications in human life today.

So, the next time misunderstandings arise; please understand the most understandable understandings that one can understand- with respect to the meanings implied- of course.